No One Writes to the Colonel (Spanish: El coronel no tiene quien le escriba) is a 1999 Spanish-language film directed by Arturo Ripstein. It was an international co-production between France, Spain and Mexico. It is based on the eponymous novella by Colombian author and Nobel Prize winner Gabriel García Márquez.
The film was Mexico's official Best Foreign Language Film submission at the 72nd Academy Awards, but did not manage to receive a nomination. It was also entered into the 1999 Cannes Film Festival.
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